Don't be embarrassed, gentleman. It's uncomfortable to carry keys, a wallet and a smartphone in your pants. It's too much. You want an alternative, perhaps even a man purse. Here are a few options.
Amazon case
You can't go wrong with this. It's hardly a purse at all. It's not a purse, it's an action figure, I mean a case. Only $10 on Amazon.
Engineer Field Bag
This one isn't a purse either, damnit. It's a bag. An engineers bag, and how traditionally male is that, amirite? And it ships from an Amazon seller called Army Universe. Manly. Very manly. Around $35.
Rothco Excursion Bag
To me, this just straight up looks like a purse, and yet... it's olive drab with webbing for a strap, it's got D-rings, a buckle. And look at the way they don't even try to match the green zipper. The man who carries this has more important things on his mind than whether the Army Green zipper matches the Olive Drab canvas. I take it back: this is not a purse. It's a manly organizer bag and, to quote the seller, "whether you're on an African safari, top-secret reconnaissance mission, or a road trip, this organizer truly comes in handy."
About $15 on Amazon.
Canvas Cross Body Chest Pack
So, it's not a BACK pack, it's a CHEST pack, although as you can see from the picture, you can wear it on your back. Whether back or chest, the irony is this is the HIPster-est of the choices, but guys seem to like it. Lots of Amazon reviews written by people with male first names, many praising the ruggedness of the design. Methinks they protest too much, but you probably won't be openly mocked if you carry this. No guarantees.
About $38 on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00A6FZ91Y/chrishugh-20
Rothco Travel Bag
Okay, you know what? It's a man purse. I can't talk my way around it this time. It's a man purse and I admit it, but it doesn't look bad. Why can't a man carry a bag, anyway? "Purse" used to be a gender neutral term. What's so unmanly about carrying a purse?
Um.
Let's call it a bag.
So here's your man bag, for secure men only. It's got high ratings, but some people complain that it's flimsy while others say it's sturdy. If you get one, check it carefully to make sure you got a good (i.e. sturdy) one and be ready to exchange if not. About $12 on Amazon.
The Crosspaq Black Forget Your Pockets on the Go! CrossBody Bag
Or, as I call it, "The Hipster Bandolier," which is honestly a better name despite the double sarcasm. Some people rave about this thing, some people say it's flimsy and doesn't have a pocket big enough for their iPhone with their fancy Otterbox thick case. Unknown whether it will fit a honkin big Galaxy, so be prepared to check it carefully for quality and usefulness and return if needed.
But before you place your order, take a close look at the picture. Maybe carrying a man bag isn't so bad after all. I mean, the goal isn't so much to avoid looking like a girl, right? No one is going to think you're a girl. The idea us to avoid looking like an idiot. Whether the "Forget Your Pockets on the Go! CrossBody Bag" helps or hinders that goal is a question only you can decide. But here's something to consider.
But, hey, if you want to pay $49 to look like Miss America, here's a link. She is a bit of a badass, btw, most recently in the news for shooting out the tires of four guys trying to steal equipment on her farm. http://www.foxnews.com/story/2007/04/21/82-year-old-ex-beauty-queen-stops-intruder-by-shooting-out-tires/
$49 on Amazon. Wow. $49? WTF.
Conclusion
So there you have it, a broad selection of manly man bags to carry your manly keys, phone and wallet. Any of these should be fine. You're a man, you've got stuff to carry, you don't worry overmuch about looking manly because you're a manly man and you just know it.
You can't go to wrong with any of the previous choices, but if you really can't stand a man purse you probably could go wrong with this....
...which, for the record, is about $50 on Amazon.
